I am hoping this blog will be a sort of talking therapy for me, even if there is nobody out there to listen. I want to get my spark back. To define myself as something more than a wife and mother, but still to be the best wife and mother I can be. I have a brain and I want to use it. I have a huge creative urge that I want to find an outlet for. I want to be a better version of myself. I want to find my old spark. Is that even possible? Let’s find out;
Who are we?
I have been together with Noah for 13 years and married for almost 4. He is the most fabulous carpenter, hence the name Noah. He would build an ark if he had enough wood. He often goes into joinery shops just to smell the wood! It is his passion. Sadly, a seemingly small break to his wrist 2 years ago has resulted in various surgeries and his right wrist is now screwed and plated and fixed so he can never bend it again. Learning to do things again has been a steep learning curve. He is now at the stage where he can do an hour or so of work before the pain gets too much. He shouldn’t be doing this but he can’t help himself. Morphine is his new best friend and dulls the pain enough for him to function on a semi- normal level.
I have 1 child from a previous relationship and we have 3 children together. To best describe our brood I have named them after the elements.
My eldest son is 14 and is a typical teenager in many respects. The thing that makes him different, and so unique, is that he has autism and aspergers. This is a very recent diagnosis that we are still coming to terms with it. This is an issue I would like to cover in more detail in further posts because I feel it merits some in-depth details and discussion. Fire best describes him because you never know when he is going to combust into flames of anger and rage and you are never quite sure when he is going to burn himself out and become calm and still once more. There is never a dull moment, that’s for sure. I am the only person he totally trusts and I am proud to say that even at this age he tells me he loves me every day.
My second son is 7 and he is by turns wonderfully calm and even and then suddenly a tsunami hits and all hell breaks lose. He has the most wonderful cheeky sense of humour that sadly gets him into a lot of trouble at school. He is not the most academic child but is developing a passion for science and with maths he just seems to ‘get it’. His dad is teaching him about woodwork and he is amazingly quick to pick things up, a natural talent. He just has to learn to curb the swells and tides of his temper and spend more time being my lovely helpful hug-bug.
My eldest daughter is 4 and spends most of her time floating in the clouds with the fairies. She lives in a dream world that I don’t want her to lose until she has to. That is not to say she isn’t capable of conjuring up a storm at a moments notice if the mood takes her! She is very academic and excels at school but when it comes to common sense, lets just say she was not gifted in that department! She is a stunning girl and I sometimes just sit and watch her and marvel at her little quirks and mannerisms.
My youngest daughter is 2. She is astounding in the grasp she already seems to have of the world and the things that she says totally unprompted. She is the baby of the family and all her siblings adore her, but OJ has a special bond with her that makes me all fuzzy to watch. My little earth girl has her shoes on and is out side in a flash. I think she would live outside in a tent if we let her. The terrible twos are rearing their ugly head at the moment and I am patiently waiting for her to get the message that I am the boss. Somehow, though, with this one I think she will always be the boss of the house.
Our cat has the shiniest fur in the world. Not that I ever get much chance to stroke him. He is very anti social. He does love the boys though and sleeps on one of their beds every night if he is not having a wild night out on the tiles. Dirty stop out.